by Tina Olivero

    UnFunk YourSelf

    Are you stuck?
    Tired of being tired?
    Sick of being sick?
    Wish you had a better relationship?
    Finances got you anxious?
    Covid got you down?

    OK, then it’s probably a good time to UnFunk YourSelf.

    Unfunking yourself starts with a willingness to see that all your issues in life are designed for you and they have something important to teach you.  Yes, all that angst has a purpose.

    It’s saying, “Heh there…. it’s time for a change.”


    At some level, we are all change-resistant. But why?

    What is this human tendency to resist life? Perhaps we don’t like to admit mistakes? Maybe we are too stubborn to ask for help. We often put the bills off as long as we can. We tend to avoid having the conversation we know we need to have.

    We play the same cycle repeatedly and wonder how we ended up in the same relationship with a different person. We keep drinking to forget we did that. We use pot to numb our minds and pretend it’s all cool. But eventually….. it comes back to bite us on the *ss. And when it does, it’s not pretty.

    Why do we guard our positions so vigorously even when life is not fulfilling?


    Here’s why that happens! Unknowingly, we are protecting ‘THE EGO”.

    Yes, we all have one.

    The Ego is that sneaky bugger that has some rather unattractive qualities attached to it. It is a sabotage expert. The passive-aggressive one. The one that has to have it right here and now. The one that puts things off and likes to control things. Sometimes jealous, sometimes angry, sometimes depressed, sometimes judgemental….yes that’s all ego.

    Wait a second, are you saying you don’t have an ego?
    OK the one that said that ….. THAT’S YOUR EGO!


    I have an ego; his name is Stavros. I call him that because he’s militant. He comes out when I’m afraid, and he sounds like he needs to control people and dominate situations. He’s usually around when my teens are off doing something they aren’t supposed to be doing, and I’m home fretting for their lives.

    OH YES, Stavros is never that far away when it comes to my teens and their experiments with  ‘everything-they-are-not-supposed-to!’ First there’s fear for my teens, then judgement, then anger. Sometimes there’s shaming, bossing, and even ultimatums.

    Alas, it never works out! Oh, Stavros, you are NOT EFFECTIVE at solving my issues.


    Rather than pretending, we don’t have an ego, it’s much easier to be real and authentic. When our Egos come out to play, what if we chose to see how our Ego’s are causing our own demise?

    What would happen if we looked under control and anger and found the real emotion that it was stemming from? .

    What if we looked under the daily beer drinking and found the heartbreak? What if we looked under that heartbreak, even further, and saw the fear of the loss of love? Or fear of being alone? Or fear of not being good enough?

    Ahh yes, a little deeper and we get to see what’s really there.  A little digging and it’s fertile ground for cultivating self awareness.

    That process of looking deeper and being honest with ourselves offers enormous gifts and pays off in spades in terms of your happiness and satisfaction with life.

    When you truly “own” it, and see how the Ego is acting out. Call it out. And when you do, you will see that the Ego has a lot less power over you.  For example, verbalizing and taking responsibility for our Ego releases us from the victim position and it gives us a place to create something new. It provides us with a place for change.

    When we are willing to say what causes our fear it no longer controls us. So what ever is in the way, is the way. In other words, suffering happens to us, for us and to teach us.

    So you know how easy it is to talk about all your accomplishments and how great of a person you are…. When you get as comfortable as that, talking about your Ego, and all of its sabotaging outcomes, that’s when you know you have arrived. That’s emotional intelligence.

    Distinguishing the Ego is where all the healing and magic happens. Realizing the egos impact on yourself and others dissolves pain, reduces fear, helps in healing the body, supports the cure illnesses, supports menatl health and often mends relationships.

    Think about it, would you rather be in a relationship with someone who admits their mistakes or fears and moves on, or someone who’s hiding it all and leaves you second guessing everything?


    Emotional awareness is not a movement of the times reserved for spiritual people. It is not a wonky book that is full of  fu, fu, fairyland ideals. And it’s certainly not people hummitating on the side of a cliff, asking for world peace.

    No, emotional awareness is taking the time to ‘self observe’, and find answers. It is a deep and meaningful personal experience.

    Emotional awareness is a verb that requires personal action. It dares to examine the way we act and react and be honest with ourselves about it.

    It is a process of identifying our emotions and being willing to tell the truth to yourself about what’s really going on underneath those surface emotions and all the substances we use to pretend they aren’t there.


    The journey of a self-examined life is one worth living. Your life’s success correlates directly with your ability to get out of your own way! That means being willing to release that Ego’s hold, and that always feels uncomfortable. But do it anyway, because beyond that emotional mind trap, is a peaceful world requesting you show up to the party.

    Think of 2020 as your time in life where things got so intense that you had no other choice but to grow. Covid-19 really was so scary, so painful, so uncertain that we got very clear about what really matters and put things into perspective.

    What if 2020 meant the world stopped long enough for us to finally see what we have been unable to see, and what we see is ourselves requesting to grow. To grow more conscious, get clear and precise, align with our highest self.

    Covid-19 has taught us about what truly matters; our animals, our environment, our health.

    So go ahead, get mad, then observe it. Identify the underlying fears. Get angry when you go off course and really ‘see’ it for what it is. Unravel it!

    UnFunk YourSelf.




    Author: Katrina Olivero is a leadership coach and trainer with www.ThePhoenixFuture.com
    You can reach her at contact@ThePhoenixFuture.com
    709 770-0677. You may book Katrina Olivero for speaking engagements, corporate coaching or individual coaching.

    Katrina Olivero, BEd. CPPM

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